Things I Almost Remember
by basket-of-posies
Summary: McDanno.  Danny wakes up in the hospital with no memory of Steve or Five-0 and it hits Steve harder than anyone else. T for now, but might be moved up to M


"Danno, please wake up," Was the first thing Danny heard when consciousness came upon him. The voice sounded like a little girl's, and it brought a swell of warmth to his chest, but he couldn't place whose voice it was.

"Please, daddy?"

Danny grunted softly and squeezed his eyes tightly before opening them slowly. There was a pounding in his head that he hadn't noticed before, and it was aggravated by the white light of the ceiling lights and the shrill squeal of excitement from the young girl standing at his bedside—Grace, he realized.

"Mom! Uncle Steve! Come back! Danno's awake!" She yelled and Danny groaned, screwing his eyes shut in hopes that it would make the headache go away.

"Danny?" A soft voice asked and Danny opened his eyes again, turning his head so he could see the two adults that came in to the room. He recognized the woman—Rachel, his ex-wife, of course—but who the man was puzzled Danny.

Danny tried to answer, but his throat was dry and hoarse from lack of use. He coughed and cleared his throat before trying again. "What happened?" he asked in a rasp and gratefully took a sip of the water Rachel handed him.

"Explosion at the crime scene. It sent us flying. Me and Chin came out with some scratches, Kono was pretty banged up, but you… you hit your head on a HPD Cruiser. You've been out for a week," the man informed him, and Danny wanted to punch him for assuming he knew anything about the story he had just told. Chin? Kono? And who the hell was this guy?

Danny stared at the man in confusion which seemed to make his seemingly put together facade break down a little. "...Danny?" he asked, an accidental hint of worry and fear slipping into his voice.

"Who are you?" Danny finally asked and Grace's shocked gasp affected him more than hurt that flickered across the man's features.

"Danno! That's Uncle Steve! You love him!" Grace hurriedly explained, tugging on Danny's hand as if that would aid him in remembering.

Steve blushed and looked away—they hadn't exactly said those words just yet, but Grace was always quicker on the uptake than the two of them when it came to what was happening between them.

"Daniel, this is Lieutenant Commander Steven McGarrett, you're his partner in the task force he leads, called 5-0. Do you recall any of that?" Rachel asked in her soothing, accented voice. Danny could clearly see the lines of distress settling on her features even if her voice was steady and calm.

"I'm assuming I'm his partner in more than one way?" Danny asked his eyebrow raised as he looked Steve up and down. "When did I decide I was gay?"

"Being gay isn't a decision," Grace argued, a conversation her and Kono once had running through her mind, and Rachel gave her a reprimanding look to remind her this wasn't the time nor place for that particular discussion. "Sorry," Grace murmured and stared at the floor pitifully.

Danny sighed and sat up slightly, wincing as his muscles pulled from the long period of no movement. "C'mere, Monkey," he said softly and made room for Grace to climb onto the bed next to him.

"I'll, um, I'll go," Steve interposed as Grace got comfortable. "I'll tell the doctor he's awake on the way out," he directed towards Rachel. "And I'll tell the team you're okay," he assured Danny but was meant with confusion and doubt. "Later," He breathed out and left.

"Danno, how come you're not happy to see Uncle Steve?" Grace asked, her eyes wide with innocence. "He seemed sad."

"I don't know who Steve is," Danny told her and met Rachel's eyes over their daughter's head. "I might have a case of amnesia," he added, a hint of panic in his tone, "From hitting my head."

"What is that?" Grace asked, sitting on her knees and facing her father.

"It's when a person doesn't remember certain things or anything at all," he explained and pulled his daughter into a hug. "I'm just glad I remember you."

"Are you ever gonna remember him?" Grace asked worriedly when she pulled away. "You have to! You live with him! You can't live with someone you don't know. Uncle Steve will be sad if you don't remember him."

Danny sighed and met eyes with Rachel again—he didn't know what to tell her.

"Grace, dear, your father will remember everything soon enough. Don't worry. Uncle Steve will help him," Rachel promised and ran a hand down one of Grace's pigtails.

"Are you sure?" She asked, looking at both of her parents.

"Of course," Rachel answered, but Danny remained silent. Grace was about to repeat her question to him when the doctor walked in. Danny thanked God because it seemed that Grace felt strongly about his relationship with 'Uncle Steve' and he didn't want to disappoint his little girl.

Steve had just arrived at 5-0 Headquarters and was already being harassed by Kono wanting to know if Danny had woken yet. Chin didn't vocalize it, but Steve could feel his concern even as he stood leaning against the doorframe to his office.

"He's awake," Steve finally spoke, his voice void of emotion. On the drive there, he had reorganized his mind, putting all thoughts of insecurity about why Danny had only forgotten him and 5-0 but nothing else and all of the disappointment into the back of his mind, sealing them into a small box so that he could clear his mind, function, and focus. It didn't take the knot of worry, of anguish, of pain at being forgotten out of the pit of his stomach though.

"That's it?" Kono inquired, blocking his way as she stood with her hand on his hips. "Is he okay? Is he in pain? When's he gonna be released?"

"He doesn't remember 5-0 or any of us," Steve told her and brushed past her before he could see her shoulders slump.

"Amnesia," Chin concluded and took a step out of his office. "He's okay otherwise?"

"Seems so," Steve answered, his back rimrod straight as he walked to his office, not turning to face his team. "Tell him we closed the case when you visit," he ordered before closing the door behind him.

"What's wrong with Bossman, cuz?" Kono asked.

"Danny didn't just forget 5-0 and Steve, his boss. He forgot _Steve_, his lover," Chin explained and Kono nodded solemnly in understanding. "The boss just needs some time to remember that Danny didn't do it on purpose."

"Yeah," Kono sighed, then pulled her keys out of her pocket with a grin. "Road trip?"

When Chin and Kono arrived, they found Grace curled up to Danny's side, sleeping peacefully. Danny looked the two of them over, clearly skeptical and wanting to know who was intruding in his hospital room.

"Can I help you?" He asked when the two strangers didn't move past the doorway. That seemed to bring Kono out of her silence. She ran to his bedside and threw her arms around Danny tightly but careful not to disturb the sleeping girl. "Hey, hey, whoa, oh, oh, oh! Who are you and why are you going python on me?"

Kono pulled away with a bright grin, her hands holding onto Danny's biceps tightly. "I'm Kono and I'm your best friend."

"Right. That guy, Steve, mentioned you. You must be Chin, then," Danny declared, turning his head in Chin's direction.

"You got it, brah. What's this about you forgetting about us?" Chin teased, walking up to stand beside Kono. "Not very polite for someone who's always ranting about civilized society."

"Huh," Danny chuckled, "A guy can't get a break, can he? Doc said it's acute retrograde amnesia from blunt force trauma, AKA walking towards a bomb when it explodes and sends you back to get face to face with a nice police cruiser. Steve," the name felt a bit foreign on Danny's tongue, "said you two were there, too. How're you holding up?"

"Don't worry about us. Just a bunch of scrapes and bruises. You were the only one smart enough to get knocked out like that," Kono replied with a smirk, "You have the worst luck."

"I can tell," Danny muttered. "Also, why are you talking to my daughter about homosexuality and the debate between it being innate or a conscious decision? She is far too young to getting philosophical with the likes of you—oh, no, don't give me that innocent face. Grace told me all about you, how I call you Steve's protege, and that he apparently has no sense of fear, so I can conclude you two must be bad influences on my poor, innocent daughter."

Kono's grin could have lit up the entire hospital. "I'm just teaching her to be a strong woman with an independent mind."

"She's eight."

"It's never too early!"

"Shh, you'll wake her," Chin warned when Grace stirred, "Where's Rachel, by the way?"

"Business meeting or something," Danny rolled his eyes, "Step-Stan's coming to pick Grace up later."

"I see you didn't forget your strong dislike for him," Chin commented with a smug smile.

Danny scoffed. "A boulder knocking me out wouldn't get me to forget that."

Chin and Kono laughed, glad to see Danny's personality hadn't been affected.

"Where are you staying after you're released?" Kono asked, curiosity getting the better of her.

"Gracie informed me that I lived with Steve, but seeing that I have no recollection of the guy, it might be a bit weird. Rachel told me I sold my apartment a couple weeks ago and offered their guest room, but that would probably lead me to an early death. So, really, I don't know," Danny shrugged. Chin and Kono looked at each other, both knowing that if Danny didn't choose Steve, the other man would be crushed. "What, what? What is this? Some weird telepathic link? Do you mind sharing with the class?"

"Well..." Kono started and looked at Chin, hoping he'd relay the information instead. He sighed and resigned himself to the task.

"You not remembering us, it's affecting Steve more than me and Kono," Chin explained. "He used to losing everyone he loves, so with you not remembering him, it probably feels like he lost you, too. He… he interprets things differently."

"...so he thinks I forgot him on purpose?" Danny deadpanned and felt like smacking the man he was supposedly in love with upside the head.

"Basically," Kono nodded. "Bossman looked like a kicked puppy… well a kicked puppy that looked like it was trying to be a big bad bulldog. I guess that's what being a SEAL does to you."

"He was a SEAL?" Danny asked and started to wonder how in the world he had fallen for a Navy man who seemed to have issues up the wazoo.

"Yeah. He's in the reserves now so that he can lead 5-0," Kono offered. "He met you his first day back in Hawaii. Love at first sight, in my opinion," she smirked. Danny rolled his eyes and was about to respond when Chin cut in.

"Don't listen to her," Chin advised and switched the topic. "Do you know when you're being released?"

"Doc said everything was fine sans my memory. He's keeping me overnight for observation, then I should be fine to go tomorrow," Danny answered and furrowed his eyebrows together. "I should go home with Steve, shouldn't I?"

"To save his sanity and everybody else's, yes," Chin answered truthfully.

Danny sighed, but nodded thoughtfully. He was going to have to suck it up. If he was as head over heels for this guy as his own daughter claimed he was, he figured it would only be a matter of time before they reached wherever they were at before he lost his memory.

"This Steve guy… does he usually lead us into exploding buildings?" Danny asked cautiously—he didn't like the way Chin schooled his face to be neutral or the smirk that formed on Kono's lips.

"No," Chin answered honestly.

"He saves those for himself. He does like to break every and all laws regarding speeding, traffic, and parking. And he doesn't wait for backup. He hardly follows any protocol, and I'm not sure if he knows what Miranda rights are," Kono added. Chin stared at her in disbelief, blinking as if he had heard wrong. "What? He has the right to know, cuz!"

"We could have saved it until _after _he got home," Chin said with a clenched jaw and gave Danny a tight smile. "He's really a nice guy, promise."

"Uh huh," Danny said and nodded slowly. "So I shacked up with a loon?"

"A very lovable one!" Kono provided in an attempt to make the situation seem better.

It didn't.

Luckily, Grace stirred and picked her head up sleepily, her eyes cracking open. As soon as she saw Kono and Chin, her wake up process sped up and she jumped up and over Danny so that she could barrel into them and pull them into a hug.

"Kono! Uncle Chin!" She said excitedly, her eyes and smile bright.

"Hey, Gracie!"

Danny watched quietly as the three of them interacted, Grace obviously comfortable with them. He reasoned that if he let his daughter around these people enough to have her consider them family that he must have trusted them. That knowledge helped alleviate some of the worry he had about living with a complete stranger he was supposed to be in love with.

Some worry was meant to be understood as very little.

Steve sat in his office engulfed in near darkness, the only light coming from the dim desk lamp. He had his head in his hands, his fingers gripping at the almost curls of his hair, as he stared down at a framed picture of him, Danny, and Grace at the last barbecue they had at his house.

It hadn't been anything special, just a day of fun, laughter, and good times, but Steve was looking forward to having a lot more of those days, with Danny and Grace specifically. His chest filled with a heavy weight at the thought of Danny forgetting what they had—_he didn't decide this_, he reminded himself, but it gave him little relief.

He should have been at the hospital, with Danny, trying to help him remember, but he couldn't; it hurt him too much to have Danny look at him as if he were a stranger. Wallowing wasn't doing him any good so Steve placed the picture face down and grabbed a file to start filling out.

The next day, when Kono and Chin came into work, hair still wet from an impromptu surf, they found Steve asleep at his desk and shared a worried look.

"Poor bossman," Kono sighed and went on to go wake Steve up. Chin stayed back and watched while he started up the computers.

"Steve, hey Steve," Kono said gently as she placed a gentle hand on the SEAL's shoulder. "It's almost 9, you gotta wake up."

Steve grunted and squeezed his eyes together before opening them slowly and picking his head up. "Kono?" He rasped out and looked at her in confusion.

"Late night?" She asked with her forehead crinkled but still kept a light smile on.

"Yeah," Steve sighed and started restacking the files he had finished. "Figured I'd catch up on paperwork."

"Or avoid seeing Danny."

Steve shot Kono a look, but she just shrugged innocently. "Isn't there someone trying to blow up the island that we should be hunting down?"

"Nope," Kono answered and took a seat on the edge of the desk, "But there is a short man from Jersey who's confused and can't remember the guy he fell in love with but is willing to try and get those memories back."

"You're not very subtle," Steve muttered as he leaned back in his seat, his body sagging.

"Neither are you. That's why Danny thinks I'm a mini-you, among other reasons," She grinned. "So, are you going to visit him?"

"Maybe later," Steve sighed and looked up at the ceiling.

"Well, he gets released today, and if you're not there to pick him up, he's gunna be stuck at Rachel and Stan's place, and you know that's just asking for Danny to blow the island up himself."

Steve turned his head and stared at Kono, who stared back with a happy smile, obviously proud of herself. The staring contest finally ended when Steve looked away and grabbed his keys off his desk.

"I'll swing by home and grab some clothes for him. When's he being released?" Steve asked as he put some things away on his desk and fixed the picture frame he had placed down last night.

"As soon as someone's there to take him home. He's sort of like an abandoned cat right now," She explained, nodding in approval at her comparison.

Steve rolled his eyes and headed out of his office. "Hold the fort down, Chin!" he called over his shoulder as he left.

"Five bucks says they have sexy times tonight," Kono said as she approached Chin from behind.

"I don't wanna think about it," Chin muttered and went to his office, leaving Kono alone in the main room.

_He wants to remember me. He wants me to come get him. He wants me. _

Steve kept reminding himself all of this to dissuade him from going home and just staying there instead of going to pick Danny up. His mantra got him all the way to the hospital and had him standing in the hallway Danny's room was in, holding a small bag of Danny's clothes in one hand.

"May I help you?" A nurse asked when she saw him standing there motionless.

"Um, no, thank you," Steve answered and cleared his throat. "Just making sure I was in the right wing."

"Alright, but if you need help, the nurse's desk is just around that corner," She pointed down the hallway and Steve smiled his thank you. "Have a good day," she said before walking off.

"You too," Steve murmured in reply and finally got his legs to move again. He stopped in front of Danny's room and took a deep breath and let it out before reaching out and opening the door.

Danny stared at him with a raised eyebrow when he came in.

"Uh, sorry. Should have knocked. I'll leave if you want," Steve licked his lips and looked down at the floor, his shoes becoming very interesting.

"No, you buffoon, I was just wondering why you decided to meditate outside of my door—the walls are glass by the way— and why, as the 'love of my life,' as Kono calls you, you didn't stick around yesterday or come back after you left. Do you know how awkward a hospital visit from Step-Stan is when he tries to make small talk and asks about my boyfriend and I can't tell him anything because all I know is what my daughter, a psycho girl, and her cousin told me," Danny explained, his tirade accompanied by flailing arms. "And if I have one more cup of jello, I'm going to explode, so if you leave right now, it better be with me because I cannot stand one more minute in this damn bed."

Steve had looked up and listened to Danny rant with a small smile on his lips. "Nice to know you didn't forget your personality," he commented and came forward to place the bag of clothes on Danny's bed.

Danny grumbled under his breath about crazy, convoluted islands and the people on them and grabbed the bag to look through it. "...did you seriously bring me a dress shirt and tie to leave the hospital in? Babe, I'm sore as can be, a tee-shirt would be appreciated," Danny complained and made a face of displeasure at Steve.

"Those were just in case. Look underneath the dress clothes," Steve directed, glad that he had brought the tee shirt and sweats as a last minute decision.

"This isn't my shirt," Danny said as he pulled out a worn navy blue t-shirt out. When he saw the block lettering that said 'NAVY,' he understood. "This is yours. And I probably like to wear it. Otherwise, I don't know why you'd bring it."

"Yeah," Steve nodded, the tight ball in his stomach loosening a bit. "You also like the Army shirt you bought just to screw with me."

"Yeah, that sounds like me," Danny said with a smirk and pulled the sweats and boxers out of the bag. "Are these my sweats or yours? Just asking so I know whether I'll have to be rolling them up or not."

"They're yours," Steve answered. "Uh, I'll turn around if you wanna get dressed," he said awkwardly and started to move to do so.

Danny rolled his eyes and put an arm on Steve's forearm to stop him. "I'm not shy and I'm sure you've seen me naked plenty of times before. Once in the office even, as said by Kono."

Steve laughed and ran a hand down his face. "Yeah, there was that one time."

"Once?"

"Okay, there were other times, but only one time when Kono and Chin walked in," Steve corrected, watching as Danny slowly slid off the bed and stood on the other side of it.

"Great, I got involved with a voyeur," Danny teased in a grumble and pulled his boxers on then took his hospital gown off. "Any other good stories?"

"Not in public," Steve chuckled and focused on Danny's face so that his eyes wouldn't try to wander downwards, even though the bed hid most of Danny's lower body.

"Oh boy, I'm reliving my college days," Danny muttered and pulled his tee shirt then sweats on. "Did you bring shoes?"

"Flip flops," Steve answered and pulled said items out of the bag to hand them to Danny.

"Great," Danny said as he put them on. "Now let's go get those release forms and get me out of here."

"You know you have to be taken out in a wheelchair right?"

"What has my life become?"

Things took a turn for the awkward when the two of them got home. Steve made breakfast for the two of them, and they ate together in the living room and exchanged small talk, but after they had put the dishes away and washed them, they were left sitting on the couch in silence. Danny was looking around, taking in his surroundings and trying to see if anything seemed familiar to him while Steve sat and looked anywhere but Danny.

"So," Danny finally said and looked at Steve.

"So," Steve replied and finally looked at Danny.

"So we have sex?" Danny asked and Steve wanted to just fall over; instead, he just stared blankly and gaped at Danny, who was looking at him, expecting an answer. "I take that as a yes. So who tops? I sort of understand the whole gay sex thing, y'know. You seem like a hitter, but I'm not sure if I'm all that much of a catcher, but I wouldn't know because, as far as I know, I haven't done the whole gay sex thing yet."

Steve finally found his voice after he cleared his throat and licked his lips. "Okay, uh, can we talk about something else? We can ease into things like sex."

"Well, from what I gather, again mostly from Kono, is that sex is a big part of our lives, so I figure I should know more about our sex life."

"Are you trying to make everything between us awkward? Because if you are, really, you're doing a hell of a job," Steve commented, his eyebrows furrowing. "How about I take you on a tour of the house?"

"Alright, but I'm just letting you know now, just because I'm willing to talk about sex with you doesn't mean I'm gunna jump into bed with you. I don't put out on the first date," Danny teased and Steve gave him a tight smile.

If Danny talked about them having sex anymore, Steve was pretty sure his morals were going to fly out the window and he was going to drag Danny to their bedroom.

The tour of the house, as well as some stories from their time together, left the two of them feeling at ease with each other, like they had been just a week ago. Danny was all flailing arms, casual touches, and a jabbering mouth, and it left Steve with a warm feeling on the inside.

"We'll finish off in the back, on the lanai," Steve informed as he led Danny out of the kitchen and towards the backyard.

"Where we always end up," Danny added, then furrowed his eyebrows in confusion, "But I don't know how I know that."

"Did Kono tell you?"

"No," Danny shook his head. "It just came out."

Steve's smile got a little wider with the small memory and the hope that more would come soon. "That's a good thing."

"Yeah," Danny breathed out, "A really good thing."

Steve reached out and took a hold of Danny's hand, squeezing it lightly before leading him to the the two beach chairs in the sand. "And so this is my backyard."

"A beach? Of course," Danny scoffed and took a seat in one of the chairs, the right one, his usual one. Steve grinned at his choice and took a seat beside him.

"Usually, we'd have a beer or two, but the doctor said no alcohol for you, and I wouldn't want to drink alone," Steve explained as he relaxed in the chair, staring at Danny as the other man stared out at the ocean.

"Yeah, that would be a little depressing," Danny murmured and tilted his head back with his eyes closed to feel the warmth of the afternoon sun on his face. Steve scoffed quietly and couldn't stop himself from reaching out and brushing the back of his hand against the scruff on Danny's chin. The touch was unexpected but not unwelcome and Danny turned into it, opening his eyes to look at Steve. "I want to remember you, y'know."

"Yeah," Steve said through the lump in his throat that had formed suddenly.

"Yeah? I heard you had a little crisis yesterday when I didn't know who you were," Danny teased lightly, his hand reaching out to hold onto Steve's, their fingers lacing together naturally. It felt right to Danny to offer comfort to this man he had just met the other day.

"It hurt," Steve confessed and moved his gaze from Danny's face to their entwined hands, entranced by how his thumb stroked Danny's skin. "You looking at me like I was some stranger, it hurt a lot."

"I bet," Danny sighed and sat up a bit, turning to face Steve some more. "Chin and Kono explained why, and Grace is upset that I can't remember you, add in the fact that even Stan asked about you, I can only imagine what we had… a whole damn week ago."

Steve let out an airy chuckle and sat up, turning completely so that his body faced Danny's chair. Their hands twisted to find a more comfortable position. "We still have it," Steve reminded. "I'm gunna make sure of it."

"Gee thanks," Danny joked and shifted some more to match Steve's posture and position. He didn't understand how he had become so comfortable so quickly with Steve, but nothing in him was fighting it. If anything, something within him was encouraging it, so he rolled with it. "So, tell me, how long after we met did we start this relationship?"

"About a month, and I just wanna let you know, that you're the one that cornered me in my office and molested my mouth. Just saying," Steve answered with a smile, "I didn't mind though."

Danny laughed and squeezed Steve's hand, "Of course you didn't. We've been together almost eight months, then?"

"Yeah," Steve nodded a bit, "We, uh, we haven't said those three words yet, by the way, but Grace seems to know our relationship better than we do."

"Yup, that sounds like my Monkey," Danny agreed, "I take it that we were close to letting the cat out of the bag then?"

"Saying it out loud? Yeah," Steve sighed softly. "I was, at least."

"You still can. I mean, I won't feel right saying it back since I've known you less than twenty-four hours—forty-eight is my minimum—but I won't freak or anything. I promise," Danny told him earnestly, his eyes showing Steve the honesty and emotion behind his words.

"God, I love you," Steve breathed out, his heart clenching with the knowledge that Danny still knew what he needed even if he didn't consciously remember it.

Hearing Steve say those words had Danny licking his lips and leaning over, his free hand pulling Steve in by the back of his neck, to press his lips against his. It was different kissing a man and feeling his stubble rubbing against his own, a set of dry lips instead soft ones against his own, but it felt like coming home to Danny, natural and comforting. Neither of them pushed it past a play of lips that lasted long enough to create a moment before the two of them pulled away.

"It felt right," Danny breathed out in explanation as he sat back.

Steve licked his lips and nodded slightly. "Good… that's good." He was happy, glad that Danny initiated the first romantic contact between them so that he didn't feel like he was forcing him to do anything and relieved that he knew Danny still wanted him. It unfurled the rest of the tight ball in his stomach that had slowly been dissipating throughout the day.

"Yeah," Danny whispered. Call him crazy but he already felt himself falling for the guy he technically had just met in the hospital the other day.


End file.
